3/20 Ron Lautzenheiser...Ray Martinez and Ron Lautzenheiser on Project Smile Update
3/27 Ed Caffrey.... John Bidwell on Electric Overdrive Vehicles
June 12 ~ Sertoma Golf Tournament
2004 ~ $24,
(Sertoman of the
These clues should be sung to the tune of a Scottish
1. His grandfather hails from Scotland, from the
town of Leath.
2. His mother was a Valentine and met John
3. His brother serves our country now, far across
4. His sister is a president of a company.
5. Our SOW is just a simple man, no one of import.
6. Always a fine gentleman, always a good sport.
7. His father made sweet beverages, only the Real
8. Our brother likes to play guitar, and sometimes
likes to sing.
9. But his songs are not heard today, for he lives
10. He works a bit, but plays much more. His
leisure is his own.
11. Our brother hails from the North Star state,
with 10,000 lakes
12. He knows the law, and knows it well, but
sometimes makes mistakes.
13. Have you guessed our brother yet, do you have
14. Salt and pepper, with a tan, is he next to
Zach Wilson (L), receives the SOW trophy from Jay Gerdes
Grab a cup of hot
chocolate, and check out these pics from the 2008
Ski Trip, compliments of Ken Borrett!
(click on 'em)
Norm took pictures at our 40th Anniversary
meeting. To look at his pictures,
click on the following link:
Click on a picture to see larger version.
Right click it
to download a copy to your computer. If you
have any problems, email me and I'll send you what
Borrett had a $5 brag for the cooks on the ski
trip for "going above and beyond the call of
duty". He also told us about Art someone on
the ski trip who had good manners. Ken told
him that, with a "ground blizzard" in effect, just
pick up the steak sandwich and eat it!
Glass had a brag that, unlike some of us poor
bastards, he was NOT home . . . . he told us how
he and the Princess celebrated her birthday in
Hawaii, where the temperature
plummeted down to 68 degrees.
John Clagett had a
$20 brag for the anniversary of his dad's death.
Had he lived he would be 80.
Reiter related a story to us about a day he spent
recently in the Douglas County Schools.
He was with a "young person" who is aspiring to
become Principal. Seems this lady was
concerned that teachers were just too soft on
students these days. When pressed for an
example, she told of watching a teacher in the
hallway between classes. A student walked by
and remarked "I hate this fucking class!"
The teacher replied "I hate to tell you this
honey, but this is Algebra, not fucking
Johnson brought in a check to pick up the IOU from
last week for his 68th birthday!
Clagett has a recommendation for us ~
He says we have to watch host Jon Stewart lay into
the CNBC commentator, Rick Santelli "The
incredible Santelli'' is famous for "Santelli's
rant'' on the floor of the Chicago Mercantile
Exchange, a broadcast diatribe against the Obama
administration's bailout of bad mortgages.
Clagett called this "one of the best pieces of
media he's ever seen".
Check it out!
(click on it!)
Bill Brown had a Sven & Ole joke sent him
Olaf & Sven were fishing one
day when Sven pulled out a cigar Finding he
had no matches, he asked Olaf for a light.
"Ya, shure, I tink I haff a lighter," he
replied. Then reaching into his tackle box, he
pulled out a Bic lighter 10 inches long.
"Yiminy Cricket!" exclaimed Sven, taking the
huge Bic lighter in his hands "Vhere dit yew
git dat monster??"
"Vell," replied Olaf, "I got it from me
"You haff a genie in yor tackle box?" Sven
"Ya, shure It's right here in my tackle box,"
"Could I see him?"
So Olaf opens his tackle box & sure enough,
out pops the genie.
Addressing the genie, Sven says,
"Hey dere! I'm a good friend of your master.
Vill you grant me vun vish?"
"Yes, I will," says the genie.
So Sven asks the genie for a million bucks.
The genie disappears back into the tackle box
leaving Sven sitting there, waiting for his
Shortly, the sky darkens & is filled with the
sound of a million ducks... flying overhead.
Over the roar of the million ducks Sven yells
at Olaf. "Yumpin' Yimminy I asked for a
million bucks, not a million ducks!"
Olaf answers, "Ya, I forgot to tell yew dat da
genie is hart of hearing.
Do yew really tink I asked for a 10-inch Bic?"
John Stouffer had a
brag for his grandson, apparently cleanup hitter
on a Denver Metro baseball (?) team. He hit
two homeruns in State Tournament in Grand Junction
Meeting is next Tuesday, March 10th. You
know the drill.
tentative date has been set for the golf
tournament. Our Golf Czar, Mike Tarantino,
tells us that Friday, June 12th is the date to
mark on your calendar.
Kaup thanked Mr. Clagett for ramroddin' the ski
trip again this year . . . seems though, as usual,
we have a number of lift tickets left over
again. John has about 10 lift tickets
we've acquired for $56 instead of the usual $92
that will be good through this season. Help
John out (and score some cheap lift
tickets at the same time). Call him at
The POT was won by
Fast Eddy Stoner!
Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat
because he had an important meeting and
couldn't find a parking place.. Looking up to
heaven he said, "Lord take pity on me. If you
find me a parking place I will go to Mass
every Sunday for the rest of me life and give
up me Irish Whiskey!"
Miraculously, a parking place appeared.
Paddy looked up again and said, "Never mind, I
every third Tuesday at 5:00 -
7 ~ at
Pappy's, located at Shields and Horsetooth, behind
Hibachi Grill, and next to the Vision
"It's the choices who make us
who we are. And we can always choose to do
The 75 Skills Every Man Should Master
man can be expert in nothing, but he must
be practiced in many things. Skills. You
don't have to master them all at once. You
simply have to collect and develop a
certain number of skills as the years tick
by. People count on you to come through.
That's why you need these, to start.
A Man Should Be Able To:
20. Sew a button.
Argue with a European without getting
xenophobic or insulting soccer.
Once, in our lifetime, much of Europe
was approaching cultural and political
irrelevance. Then they made like us
and banded together into a union of
confederated states. So you can always
assume that they were simply copying
States as they now push us to
the verge of
cultural and political irrelevance.
22. Give a woman an orgasm so
that he doesn't have to ask after it.
Otherwise, ask after it.
23. Be loyal. You will fail
at it. You have already. A
man who does
not know loyalty, from both ends, does
not know men. Loyalty is not a matter
of give-and-take: He did me a
favor, therefore I owe him one.
No. No. No. It is the
recognition of a bond,
of a shared history,
the reemergence of
the vows we
make in the
tight times. It doesn't mean complete
agreement or invisible blood ties. It
is a currency of selflessness, given
without expectation and capable of
24. Know his poison, without
standing there, pondering like a dope.
Brand, amount, style, fast, like
so: Booker's, double, neat.
25. Drive an eightpenny nail
into a treated two-by-four without
thinking about it.
Use a contractor's hammer. Swing
hard and loose, like a tennis serve.
26. Cast a fishing rod without
shrieking or sighing or otherwise
27. Play gin with an old guy.
Old men will try to crush you.
They'll drown you in meaningless
chatter, tell stories about when they
were kids this or in Korea that. Or
they'll retreat into a taciturn
posture designed to get you to do
They'll note your strategies without
mentioning them, keep
the stakes at a level they can
control, and change up their pace of
play just to get you stumbling. You
have to do this -- play their game, be
it dominoes or cribbage or chess. They
may have been playing for decades. You
take a beating as a means of absorbing
they've learned without taking a
lesson. But don't be afraid to take
them down. They can handle it.
28. Play go fish with a kid.
You don't crush kids. You talk
their ear off, make an event out of
it, tell them stories about when you
were a kid this or in Vegas that. You
have to play their game, too, even
though they may have been playing only
for weeks. Observe. Teach them without
once offering a lesson. And don't be
afraid to win. They can handle it.
29. Understand quantum physics
well enough that he can accept that a
quarter might, at some point, pass
straight through the
table when dropped.
laws of physics aren't laws at all.
Quantum World: Quantum Physics for
Everyone, by Kenneth W. Ford.
30. Feign interest. Good
place to start: quantum physics.
31. Make a bed.
Past President/ Past Governor
Marvin (Marv) Fries
||Charter Member, Past President, SOY
Gen. Bill Mauer
||9/15/34 - 4/15/ 2005
||11/2/36 ~ 8/23/2005
||3/29/32 / ~ 12/18/05
||4/30/41 ~ 2/16/06
||11/4/58 ~ 12/19/06
||8/23/39 ~ 2/10/08
||5/17/39 - 5/22/2007
||Past Pres. & SOY
||6/23/41 ~ 6/10/09
||1/9/46 ~ 12/11/09
||5/14/31 ~ 12/11/10
||2/21/1948 ~ 3/1/2011
||2/8/1931~ 6/4, 2011
||Operation Santa Claus
||9/5/1932 ~ 10/5/2011
||Charter Member / Sgt. at Arms/ Ski Trip
||8/29/31 ~ 2/12/2012
|David Lee Thomas
||8/6, 1930 - 1/16, 2013
The Sertoma Board
AT NORTH AMERICAN
AT 5:30 p.m.