lost as usual, sitting at the head table
with current president, Dan Kaup.
No one seems to know just exactly when Carl
joined, but it's a fair bet that he was simply
A little bird was flying south for the
It was so cold the bird froze and fell to
the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by
and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile
of cow dung, he began to realize how warm
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon
began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and
came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered
the bird under the pile of cow dung,
and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's
best to keep
your mouth shut!
Did you know that one of the first songs Sertoma
tried to get out club to sing was "Sertomans Go
Whizzing Along" . . . . I wonder why it didn't
Burns told everyone that his last ski trip will be
his last . . . for those of you who may not know,
he will be moving to California soon. He has
asked for some help with all of the "stuff" he has
accumulated and stored over the years for
the Ski Trip. He has everything needed for a
successful ski trip, ranging from a pop up canopy
he's going to include to . . . well, just
about everything. If you can take any or all
of this stuff, please contact him. 481-6220
Scott Billington bragged that he just celebrated
his 56th wedding anniversary. He told us
that he had one more quarter of school, and out of
money, so he "had to get married". Guess he
married the right girl, eh?
Nelson had a $76 check for every one of his years
since January 25, 1933!
Danielson told us that Beaver still has it
. . . last weekend when he met Terry & Diana's new
puppy, she peed on him!
Apparently not much has changed in our club . . .
Bob Zimdahl related to us that he was, indeed, the
Charter President of our club. What most of
us don't know is that he was elected while he was
out of town! ,
Ed Caffrey bragged on his new hat given to him
by "another famous Irishman, Wil Holtz".
He also had an $80 check for the Foundation in
celebration of his 80th birthday celebrated
recently, as well as a check for $120 to catch
him up on his dues.
Clagett STILL has 10 lift tickets he's hoping to
get rid of sometime soon. These are only
$56, considerably less than the $90 you'd have to
pay, otherwise. Call him:
Irishman who had a little too much to drink
Is driving home from the city one night and,
Of course, his car is weaving violently all
over the road.
pulls him over.
' So,' says the cop to the driver,
Where have ya been?'
been to the pub of course,'
Slurs the drunk.
' Well,' says the cop, 'it looks like you've
A few to drink this evening..'
'I did all right,' the drunk says with a
you know,' says the cop, standing straight and
Folding his arms across his chest,
'that a few intersections back, your wife fell
out of your car?'
thank heavens,' sighs the drunk.
'For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf.'
Bill Green had a fun project for us last
Saturday . . . over 20 Sertomans turned out to
help Neighbor-to-Neighbor trim back bushes and
trees from a number of buildings at The
Timmy's little girl, Tami, brought donuts, and
I had coffee. After a breakfast of
donuts and hot coffee, we all jumped in with
hedge trimmers and chainsaws to make short
work of the Juniper.
I'm always impressed when non-members show up
early in the morning (or anytime) to
help on a project. This is something
they do because they see a need and they CAN
So, a special mention goes to Tami for her
hard work. She helped us out last summer
as well, with beer sales at the Realities
Ride. I wish we had more members
like her, willing to lend a hand!
Have you met our newest
member? Alan Cohen was recently voted
into Sertoma. Next time you see
him, shake his hand and welcome him to the
celebration of his mother and father's life (and
death from from cancer) in the last few years,
Shawn Dunnigan is trying to get 25 people together
to walk in the American Cancer Society's Relay for
Life on June 13th. He stressed that this is
not a Sertoma -backed project, but more a personal
thing. If you would like to help Shawn,
please contact him at:
Friday, June 12th has been set for the Sertoma
tournament. Mark on your calendars!
President, Dan Kaup, had a special mention (and
thanks) for Ed Stoner for emceeing our Club's 40th
Anniversary Celebration last week. He also
mentioned Bill Benton and Bill Brown for
contributing some articles concerning the history
of the club. Dan asked that, if YOU have any
stories or history, or whatever concerning
the club, and you're not AFRAID to put it in
writing, get them to him. Dan would like to
put together a "packet" of of these stories, and
perhaps get them to us!
had someone from Abby's Signature Concert Series,
which benefits Hospice and Respite Care.
Last year we gave them $2,500, which they turned
into $40,000!!. (We are donating the same
amount this year). Hospice, by the way, is
now known as
"Pathways Hospice". This name change
will serve to differentiate them from others (not
non-profit) with the same name.
Miller had a $99 brag for his birthday ON St.
Patrick's Day. Last year he gave us $100,
but he's afraid he may not live to be 100,
so he started at $100 last year and is "kind of
working his way back". Whatta' guy!
The POT was won by
Zach reminded us that
we have a table for 10 at the Boys and Girls Club
"Building Incredible Kids" breakfast being held
this year at The Embassy Suites. 7:30 a.m.
April 1 (They WILL be done by 8:30, Zach
says) If you'd like to go, contact Zach or
Carl Glaser reported that
a number of members attended the 1st Annual John
McLean Memorial Party for Homeless Prevention
Initiative. He tells us that about $1,900
was raised, and plans have begun for #2. He
mentioned that we did "quite well" selling hats
that we received (free!) from the driver & hostess
driving the ski bus. Whatta' deal!
LIGHTS, DARK CITY
The city of Fort Collins announced Monday
March 23, that it will be a participating city
in Earth Hour 2009, a global
climate awareness event. More than 240 cities
around the world have already committed to go
dark for one hour on Saturday March
28, 2009, at 8:30pm MST.
Fort Collins joins tens of millions of people
worldwide who unite in a call for global
action on climate change.
From Amman to Warsaw, city skylines will go
dark for one hour as individuals, businesses,
government buildings, schools, and major
landmarks turn off
non-essential lighting in what is
projected to be the largest climate event in
During Earth Hour 2008, more than 50
million people in 400 cities on all seven
continents turned off their lights as major
icons also went dark, such as, the Sydney
Opera House, the Coliseum in Rome, Stockholm's
Royal Castle, the Empire State Building, and
the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco.
Google participated by turning its homepage
black for an entire day to observe the event.
Participating cities in the
Fort Collins, Chicago, Las Vegas, Miami, and
Nashville with more signing up everday! For
more information please visit
Zach Wilson (L), hands
off the Trophy to new SOW, TOM KULA
every third Tuesday at 5:00 -
7 ~ at
Pappy's, located at Shields and Horsetooth, behind
Hibachi Grill, and next to the Vision
"It's the choices who make us
who we are. And we can always choose to do
The 75 Skills Every Man Should Master
man can be expert in nothing, but he must
be practiced in many things. Skills. You
don't have to master them all at once. You
simply have to collect and develop a
certain number of skills as the years tick
by. People count on you to come through.
That's why you need these, to start.
A Man Should Be Able To:
20. Sew a button.
Argue with a European without getting
xenophobic or insulting soccer.
Once, in our lifetime, much of Europe
was approaching cultural and political
irrelevance. Then they made like us
and banded together into a union of
confederated states. So you can always
assume that they were simply copying
States as they now push us to
the verge of
cultural and political irrelevance.
22. Give a woman an orgasm so
that he doesn't have to ask after it.
Otherwise, ask after it.
23. Be loyal. Loyalty is not a matter
of give-and-take: He did me a
favor, therefore I owe him one.
No. No. No. It is the
recognition of a bond,
of a shared history,
the reemergence of
the vows we
make in the
tight times. It doesn't mean complete
agreement or invisible blood ties. It
is a currency of selflessness, given
without expectation and capable of
24. Know his poison, without
standing there, pondering like a dope.
Brand, amount, style, fast, like
so: Booker's, double, neat.
25. Drive an eightpenny nail
into a treated two-by-four without
thinking about it.
Use a contractor's hammer. Swing
hard and loose, like a tennis serve.
26. Cast a fishing rod without
shrieking or sighing or otherwise
27. Play gin with an old guy.
Old men will try to crush you.
They'll drown you in meaningless
chatter, tell stories about when they
were kids this or in Korea that. Or
they'll retreat into a taciturn
posture designed to get you to do
They'll note your strategies without
mentioning them, keep
the stakes at a level they can
control, and change up their pace of
play just to get you stumbling. You
have to do this -- play their game, be
it dominoes or cribbage or chess. They
may have been playing for decades. You
take a beating as a means of absorbing
they've learned without taking a
lesson. But don't be afraid to take
them down. They can handle it.
28. Play go fish with a kid.
You don't crush kids. You talk
their ear off, make an event out of
it, tell them stories about when you
were a kid this or in Vegas that. You
have to play their game, too, even
though they may have been playing only
for weeks. Observe. Teach them without
once offering a lesson. And don't be
afraid to win. They can handle it.
29. Understand quantum physics
well enough that he can accept that a
quarter might, at some point, pass
straight through the
table when dropped.
laws of physics aren't laws at all.
Quantum World: Quantum Physics for
Everyone, by Kenneth W. Ford.
30. Feign interest. Good
place to start: quantum physics.
31. Make a bed.
Past President/ Past Governor
Marvin (Marv) Fries
||Charter Member, Past President, SOY
Gen. Bill Mauer
||9/15/34 - 4/15/ 2005
||11/2/36 ~ 8/23/2005
||3/29/32 / ~ 12/18/05
||4/30/41 ~ 2/16/06
||11/4/58 ~ 12/19/06
||8/23/39 ~ 2/10/08
||5/17/39 - 5/22/2007
||Past Pres. & SOY
||6/23/41 ~ 6/10/09
||1/9/46 ~ 12/11/09
||5/14/31 ~ 12/11/10
||2/21/1948 ~ 3/1/2011
||2/8/1931~ 6/4, 2011
||Operation Santa Claus
||9/5/1932 ~ 10/5/2011
||Charter Member / Sgt. at Arms/ Ski Trip
||8/29/31 ~ 2/12/2012
|David Lee Thomas
||8/6, 1930 - 1/16, 2013
The Sertoma Board
AT NORTH AMERICAN
AT 5:30 p.m.