Still Dead, Huh??? Go Figure...
just learned that former Sertoman Denny
Farnsworth, 68, passed away on June 10th. He
is a past Sertoman of the Year (1985) and
President of our club (1980). His memorial
service was held on June 13th.
CLICK HERE for memorial information.
few of us apparently missed seeing our work
project for the Boys and Girls Club about 6
CLICK HERE for a link to the picture taken
by our intrepid Master Photographer, Norm
CLICK HERE for a coupla' dozen more pics
from the same day and the same guy.
the four guys who won the golf tournament last
week were from our club: Ken Borrett, Ed
Stoner, Randy Beaver, and Dave (someone) from
Loveland. Upon announcing that HE had won
the tournament (under direct examination from
Judge Kaup), Ken was immediately fined by our
astutely alert Sgt.-at-Arms, Tim Miller, for
Bush bragged (kind of) that last Friday he didn't
make it to the golf tournament. He, instead,
went to Winter Park to participate in the Winter
Park Mountain Bike Series. 5.2 miles; 2,100
vertical feet climb. He, in the 50 and over
group, was good enough to place NOT LAST!
What's the difference between a pigeon and an
The pigeon can still make a deposit on a
Bill Green bragged
that he received a job offer about a month ago.
A couple of weeks ago, he
accepted the job . . . . in Portland, Oregon.
Seems like his first day on the job will be August
He says it will be hard to say goodbye to this
club, needless to say!
anyone lost a sweater vest from the golf
tournament, talk with our Prez. He has it,
says he thinks it will fit his dog nicely, so
you'd better hurry!
IS an update on the
wayward sweater. Seems it belongs to Stoner,
It was Ed's "fucking favorite
and it may take years of therapy to get over the
loss. (thanks for
that graphic description,
if YOU have it or know or its whereabouts,
send the ransom note to ED STONER.
Carl Glaser had a $2 brag for 1) recently
turning 63, and his 30th anniversary of
being married (to the same woman!). Th'
Judge wrote out an IOU for Carl for $91, who
to be sadly in need of knowledge of
The pictures attached are used to test the
level of stress a person can
The slower the pictures move, the better your
ability of handling
Allegedly, criminals that were tested see them
spinning around madly;
however senior citizens and kids see them
None of these images are animated - they
are perfectly still.
Ross had a fascinating story about a vet in
Hawaii, and how experimental mice are disposed of.
Ya' had to be there to appreciate it, though.
Allerheiligen, however, had a semi-rebuttal to the
in his announcement of his knowledge of Singapore
guillotining of mice. Like I said, ya'
had to be there!
Abrahamson told us that on Saturday he'll be a
year older than Carl! Unlike Carl, however,
Larry celebrated club TRADITION with cold, HARD,
previously announced, the Installation will be at
Willard Holz's house on Sunday, July 26th.
Presidents will be getting together on July 1st at
Mulligan's at 5:30.
Nutter said the Foxes tickets are in.
Talk to him if you have one ordered. Uh,
this is old
news, since the game was SUNDAY, the 28th.
He says the tickets are good for any date,
Cord won the pot on June 19th, and claimed the
Dunnigan had a nice "Thank You" note for those who
helped him participate in this year's Relay for
Life. He said with the club's $500 donation,
he helped raise over $2,000 for cancer research!
This was such an
classic picture taken during a classic
fundraiser a few weeks ago,
I thought I'd leave it in for another week for
all to enjoy!
Bobbo Kopplin told us that he celebrated his twin
brother's 63rd birthday recently, and had
a check for the Foundation to prove it!
Benton, recently returned from St. Louis, I think
he said, had a brag for Colorado's GREAT weather!
He said while he was there it was a constant 98
degrees with 98 percent humidity. YUCK!
as last year's Sertoman of the Year, also
announced the meeting to pick THIS year's SOY.
will be Monday, the 29th, at Mulligan's.
MEETING next week, July 3rd. A vote was
taken, and it was decided.
Installation Banquet will be held at Wil Holz's
house this year. He had a narrow window
of availability, which helped with the choosing of
the date of Sunday, July 26th.
If YOU received on of
our special awards last year, remember that
it is YOUR responsibility to find a new recipient!
HERE for a
refresher as to who our recipients were.
Danielson won the pot May 21st, but he was not in
Still now word from Th' Zipster on the great Chili
He most recently had it scheduled for July 25th,
but Wil's house was only available for that
weekend (for the Installation). I'm sure
he's working on it, though.
Gabriel went to the Lord and said, "I have to
talk to you. We have some
Texans up here who are causing problems...
They're swinging on the Pearly Gates, my horn
is missing, and they are
wearing T-shirts instead of their robes;
there's barbecue and picante
sauce all over everything, especially their
T-shirts; their dogs are riding
in the chariots and chasing the sheep; they
are wearing baseball caps and
cowboy hats instead of their halos.
They refuse to keep the stairway to Heaven
clean, and their boots are
marking and scuffing up the halls of Wisdom.
There are watermelon seeds and
tortilla chip crumbs all over the place. Some
of them are walking around
with just one wing; and they insist on
bringing their horses with them.
The Lord said, "Texans are Texans, Gabriel.
Heaven is home to all of my
children. If you want to know about real
problems, call the Devil.
"So Gabriel calls the Devil who answers the
phone and says, "Hello---hold on
When he returns to the phone the Devil says,
"O.K., I'm back.
What can I do for you?"
Gabriel replied, "I just want to know what
kinds of problems you are having
down there with the Texans
"The Devil said, "Hold on again. I need to
check on something.
After about 5 minutes the Devil returned to
the phone and said. "I'm back.
Now what was the question?"
Gabriel said, "What kind of problems are you
having down there with the
The Devil said, "Man, I don't believe
"This time the Devil was gone 15 minutes and
when he returns he says, "I'm
sorry Gabriel, I can't talk right now . . . .
Red Adair has put out the fire and Brown
and Root is installing air conditioning.
A couple of recently recognized outstanding
Boys and Girls Clubbers!
The 75 Skills Every Man Should Master
man can be expert in nothing, but he must
be practiced in many things. Skills. You
don't have to master them all at once. You
simply have to collect and develop a
certain number of skills as the years tick
by. People count on you to come through.
That's why you need these, to start.
A Man Should Be Able To:
62. Hold a
wrapped tightly and held against
the chest. They like tight spaces
(consider their previous
circumstances) and rhythmic
movements, so hold them snug, tuck
them in the crook of your elbow or
against the skin of your neck.
Rock your hips like you're bored,
barely listening to the music at
the edge of a
wedding reception. No one has to
notice except the baby. Don't
breathe all over them.
a eulogy. Take the job
seriously. It matters. Speak first
to the family, then to the outside
world. Write it down. Avoid
similes. Don't read poetry. Be
64. Know that Christopher
Columbus was a
son of a
bitch. When I was
because I'm Italian and because
the Irish guys in my neighborhood
were relentless with the beatings
on St. Patrick's Day, I loved the
very idea of Christopher Columbus.
I loved the fact that Irish kids
worshipped some gnome who drove
all the rats out of Ireland or
whatever, whereas my hero was an
I drank the Kool-Aid on that guy.
Of course, I later learned that he
egotist who sold out an entire
hemisphere to European avarice. So
I left Columbus behind. Your
understanding of your heroes must
evolve. See Roger Clemens. See
over-hand with some snap. Throw
tight spiral. Shoot
jump shot reliably. If
you can't, play more ball.
68. Find his way out of the
woods if lost. Note your
landmarks -- mountains, power
lines, the sound of
Look for the sun: It sits in the
south; it moves west. Gauge your
direction every few minutes. If
you're completely stuck, look for
creek and follow it downstream.
Water flows toward larger bodies
of water, where people live.
69. Tie a
knot. Square knot: left
rope over right rope, turn under.
Then right rope over left rope.
Tuck under. Pull. Or as my pack
leader, Dave Kenyon, told me in
Scouts meeting: "Left over right,
right over left. What's so fucking
hard about that?"
70. Shake hands. Steady,
firm, pump, let go. Use the time
to make eye contact, since that's
where the social contract begins.
71. Iron a
My uncle Tony the
tailor once told me of ironing:
Start rough, end gently.
Stock an emergency bag for the
car. Blanket. Heavy flashlight. Hand
warmers. Six bottles of water. Six
packs of beef jerky. Atlas.
Reflectors. Gloves. Socks.
Bandages. Neosporin. Inhaler.
Benadryl. Motrin. Hard candy.
Telescoping magnet (why?). Screwdriver.
Channel-locks. Crescent wrench.
Ski hat. Bandanna.
a woman's neck. Back of
your fingers, in
a slow fan.
74. Know some birds. If
you can't pay attention to
then you can't learn from detail,
you aren't likely to appreciate
the beauty of evolution, and you
don't have a
clue how birdlike your own habits
may be. You've been looking at
them blindly for years now. Get
better price. Be informed.
Know the price of competitors. In
store, look for a
manager. Don't be an asshole. Use
one phrase as your mantra, like "I
little help with this one." Repeat
it, as an invitation to him. Don't
beg. Ever. Offer something: your
loyalty, your next purchase, even
your friendship, and, with the
deal done, your gratitude.
Past President/ Past Governor
Marvin (Marv) Fries
||Charter Member, Past President, SOY
Gen. Bill Mauer
||9/15/34 - 4/15/ 2005
||11/2/36 ~ 8/23/2005
||3/29/32 / ~ 12/18/05
||4/30/41 ~ 2/16/06
||11/4/58 ~ 12/19/06
||8/23/39 ~ 2/10/08
||5/17/39 - 5/22/2007
||Past Pres. & SOY
||6/23/41 ~ 6/10/09
||1/9/46 ~ 12/11/09
||5/14/31 ~ 12/11/10
||2/21/1948 ~ 3/1/2011
||2/8/1931~ 6/4, 2011
||Operation Santa Claus
||9/5/1932 ~ 10/5/2011
||Charter Member / Sgt. at Arms/ Ski Trip
||8/29/31 ~ 2/12/2012
|David Lee Thomas
||8/6, 1930 - 1/16, 2013
The Sertoma Board
AT NORTH AMERICAN
AT 5:30 p.m.