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2006 Sertoma Installation

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2007 Sertoma Installation

Pictures from Ski Trip 2008,  2009

    Dr. John's 2007 Christmas Party

CLICK HERE for SOWS going back about 4 years

CLICK HERE to see 2008 Installation pics

2009 Ski Trip


Published regularly by Sertoma Club of Fort Collins. All rights reserved.  .  If you
would like to be removed from distribution, or would like to keep your  email
current; send updates to Editor.  Copyright 2009, Fort Collins Sertoma Club

Lee Cooper


ContacT Reuel Rolston with your program!  





Program Date



August 14, 2009

Joel Bass Tae Kwan Do Demonstration


August 21, 2009

Dr Steven Thorson Health Care



August 28, 2009




September 4, 2009




September 11, 2009




September 18, 2009




September 25, 2009

Lincoln Center not Available



October 2, 2009




October 9, 2009




October 16, 2009




October 23, 2009




October 30, 2009




November 6, 2009

Lincoln Center not Available



November 13, 2009



Borett Ken

November 20, 2009




November 27, 2009

Lincoln Center not Available



December 4, 2009




December 11, 2009




December 18, 2009

Larry  Glass special



December 25, 2009

No Meeting



January 1, 2010

No Meeting

     Brags and Notices
                             January 9, 2004, our Foundation total is
                          December 31, 2004 ~ $24, 089.63
December 31, 2005 ~ $35,308.09
                         December 31, 2006 ~ $47,696.52
                        June 29, 2007 ~ $50, 911.02

                        July, 2008 ~ $53,134
January, 2009 ~ $40,654

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The SOW (Sertoman of the Week)


1.   . . . loves to cook, especially for large gatherings; he thinks his specialty is salmon.
2.   . . . has refused on several occasions over the years to be nominated/elected President of our club.
3.  . . . tried for a short time to sell water to the unsuspecting public, pretending to understand some arcane science about moving molecules across impermeable barriers.
4.  . . . . loves dogs and bunny rabbits and squirrels, but restricts his home to kitty cats.
5. . . . is a native Coloradoan; he moved early and grew up in a small state (CA) west of here.
6.  . . . is a key member of the Fort Collins SERTOMA Masochist's Club, who beat themselves up regularly
by trying to play golf, not only here in Ft. Collins, but in neighboring cities like Loveland and Windsor.
7.  . . . . . . has been know to exclaim, following an unfortunate but prodigious slice off the tee, that he "will see you at the pass before winter kicks in."
8.  . . . thinks golf is a sport where the winner is the person who finds the most golf balls in the tall grass or the shallow lake, wins.
13.  . . . . graduated the University of Redlands; was born in 1943


Obviously, anyone who knows Brad Burns knows these clues were all about him.  Before Brad arrived on Friday, however, Tim Miller, previous SOW, asked everyone to guess anyone but Brad.  The results were hilarious!  Brad sat, just shaking his head and grinning that lopsided grin of his.
Timmy had planned to make this a "roast", but there just warn't no shit on Bradford.  We'll all miss Brad . . . . let's just hope he misses us enough to tolerate a whole group of Colorado friends dropping in during the winter to play golf and drink his scotch!

Brad Burns (L), receives the SOW trophy from Tim Miller



A Day at the Beach, if you live in China!


Still Dead, Huh??? Go Figure... 



I've just learned that former Sertoman Denny Farnsworth, 68, passed away on June 10th.  He is a past Sertoman of the Year (1985) and President of our club (1980).  His memorial
service was held on June 13th.  CLICK HERE for memorial information. 

Didja' notice No meeting next week???

A few of us apparently missed seeing our work project for the Boys and Girls Club about 6 weeks ago.  CLICK HERE for a link to the picture taken by our intrepid Master Photographer, Norm Rehme!
CLICK HERE for a coupla' dozen more pics from the same day and the same guy.

3 of the four guys who won the golf tournament last week were from our club:  Ken Borrett, Ed Stoner, Randy Beaver, and Dave (someone) from Loveland.  Upon announcing that HE had won the tournament (under direct examination from Judge Kaup), Ken was immediately fined by our astutely alert Sgt.-at-Arms, Tim Miller, for bragging.

Ronny Bush bragged (kind of) that last Friday he didn't make it to the golf tournament.  He, instead, went to Winter Park to participate in the Winter Park Mountain Bike Series.  5.2 miles; 2,100 vertical feet climb.  He, in the 50 and over group, was good enough to place NOT LAST!  wow.

What's the difference between a pigeon and an investment banker
The pigeon can still make a deposit on a BMW



Bill Green bragged that he received a job offer about a month ago.  A couple of weeks ago, he
accepted the job . . . . in Portland, Oregon.  Seems like his first day on the job will be August 10th. 
He says it will be hard to say goodbye to this club, needless to say!

If anyone lost a sweater vest from the golf tournament, talk with our Prez.  He has it, and
says he thinks it will fit his dog nicely, so you'd better hurry! 
THIS JUST IN!!  There IS an update on the
wayward sweater.  Seems it belongs to Stoner, and
It was Ed's "fucking favorite vest"
and it may take years of therapy to get over the loss.
(thanks for that graphic description, beave!)
if YOU have it or know or its whereabouts, send the ransom note to ED STONER.

Carl Glaser had a $2 brag for 1) recently turning 63, and his 30th anniversary of
being married (to the same woman!).  Th' Judge wrote out an IOU for Carl for $91, who seemed
to be sadly in need of knowledge of tradition.

The pictures attached are used to test the level of stress a person can
The slower the pictures move, the better your ability of handling
Allegedly, criminals that were tested see them spinning around madly;
however senior citizens and kids see them standing still.

None of these images are animated - they are perfectly still.

Gary Ross had a fascinating story about a vet in Hawaii, and how experimental mice are disposed of.  Ya' had to be there to appreciate it, though.  Allerheiligen, however, had a semi-rebuttal to the story
in his announcement of his knowledge of Singapore guillotining of mice.  Like I said, ya' had to be there!

Larry Abrahamson told us that on Saturday he'll be a year older than Carl!  Unlike Carl, however,
Larry celebrated club TRADITION with cold, HARD, CASH!

As previously announced, the Installation will be at Willard Holz's house on Sunday, July 26th.

Past Presidents will be getting together on July 1st at Mulligan's at 5:30.

Nutter said the Foxes tickets are in.  Talk to him if you have one ordered.  Uh, this is old
news, since the game was SUNDAY, the 28th.  He says the tickets are good for any date, though.

Lee Cord won the pot on June 19th, and claimed the spoils!

Shawn Dunnigan had a nice "Thank You" note for those who helped him participate in this year's Relay for Life.  He said with the club's $500 donation, he helped raise over $2,000 for cancer research!


This was such an classic picture taken during a classic fundraiser a few weeks ago,
I thought I'd leave it in for another week for all to enjoy!

Bobbo Kopplin told us that he celebrated his twin brother's 63rd birthday recently, and had
a check for the Foundation to prove it!

Mr. Benton, recently returned from St. Louis, I think he said, had a brag for Colorado's GREAT weather!  He said while he was there it was a constant 98 degrees with 98 percent humidity.  YUCK!

Bill, as last year's Sertoman of the Year, also announced the meeting to pick THIS year's SOY.  It
will be Monday, the 29th, at Mulligan's.  6 p.m.

NO MEETING next week, July 3rd.  A vote was taken, and it was decided.

The Installation Banquet will be held at Wil Holz's house this year.  He had a narrow window
of availability, which helped with the choosing of the date of Sunday, July 26th.

If YOU received on of our special awards last year, remember that it is YOUR responsibility to find a new recipient!  CLICK HERE for a refresher as to who our recipients were.

Terry Danielson won the pot May 21st, but he was not in attendance.

Still now word from Th' Zipster on the great Chili Cook-Off yet.
He most recently had it scheduled for July 25th, but Wil's house was only available for that
weekend (for the Installation).  I'm sure he's working on it, though.

Gabriel went to the Lord and said, "I have to talk to you. We have some
Texans up here who are causing problems...

They're swinging on the Pearly Gates, my horn is missing, and they are
wearing T-shirts instead of their robes; there's barbecue and picante
sauce all over everything, especially their T-shirts; their dogs are riding
in the chariots and chasing the sheep; they are wearing baseball caps and
cowboy hats instead of their halos.

They refuse to keep the stairway to Heaven clean, and their boots are
marking and scuffing up the halls of Wisdom. There are watermelon seeds and
tortilla chip crumbs all over the place. Some of them are walking around
with just one wing; and they insist on bringing their horses with them.

The Lord said, "Texans are Texans, Gabriel. Heaven is home to all of my
children. If you want to know about real problems, call the Devil.

"So Gabriel calls the Devil who answers the phone and says, "Hello---hold on
a minute.

When he returns to the phone the Devil says, "O.K., I'm back.

What can I do for you?"

Gabriel replied, "I just want to know what kinds of problems you are having
down there with the Texans

"The Devil said, "Hold on again. I need to check on something.

After about 5 minutes the Devil returned to the phone and said. "I'm back.

Now what was the question?"

Gabriel said, "What kind of problems are you having down there with the

The Devil said, "Man, I don't believe this...hold on.

"This time the Devil was gone 15 minutes and when he returns he says, "I'm
sorry Gabriel, I can't talk right now . . . .
Red Adair has put out the fire and Brown and Root is installing air conditioning.




Our Speaker on
May  22




A couple of recently recognized outstanding Boys and Girls Clubbers!










The 75 Skills Every Man Should Master

A man can be expert in nothing, but he must be practiced in many things. Skills. You don't have to master them all at once. You simply have to collect and develop a certain number of skills as the years tick by. People count on you to come through. That's why you need these, to start.

A Man Should Be Able To:

62. Hold a baby.   Newborns should be wrapped tightly and held against the chest. They like tight spaces (consider their previous circumstances) and rhythmic movements, so hold them snug, tuck them in the crook of your elbow or against the skin of your neck. Rock your hips like you're bored, barely listening to the music at the edge of a wedding reception. No one has to notice except the baby. Don't breathe all over them.

63. Deliver a eulogy. Take the job seriously. It matters. Speak first to the family, then to the outside world. Write it down. Avoid similes. Don't read poetry. Be funny.

64. Know that Christopher Columbus was a son of a bitch. When I was a kid, because I'm Italian and because the Irish guys in my neighborhood were relentless with the beatings on St. Patrick's Day, I loved the very idea of Christopher Columbus. I loved the fact that Irish kids worshipped some gnome who drove all the rats out of Ireland or whatever, whereas my hero was an explorer. Man, I drank the Kool-Aid on that guy. Of course, I later learned that he was a hand-chopping, land-stealing egotist who sold out an entire hemisphere to European avarice. So I left Columbus behind. Your understanding of your heroes must evolve. See Roger Clemens. See Bill Belichick.

65-67. Throw a baseball over-hand with some snap. Throw a football with a tight spiral. Shoot a 12-foot jump shot reliably.  If you can't, play more ball.

68. Find his way out of the woods if lost. Note your landmarks -- mountains, power lines, the sound of a highway. Look for the sun: It sits in the south; it moves west. Gauge your direction every few minutes. If you're completely stuck, look for a small creek and follow it downstream. Water flows toward larger bodies of water, where people live.

69. Tie a knot.  Square knot: left rope over right rope, turn under. Then right rope over left rope. Tuck under. Pull. Or as my pack leader, Dave Kenyon, told me in a Boy Scouts meeting: "Left over right, right over left. What's so fucking hard about that?"

70. Shake hands. Steady, firm, pump, let go. Use the time to make eye contact, since that's where the social contract begins.

close up of an iron pressing a shirt
71. Iron a shirt. My uncle Tony the tailor once told me of ironing: Start rough, end gently.

72. Stock an emergency bag for the car.  Blanket. Heavy flashlight. Hand warmers. Six bottles of water. Six packs of beef jerky. Atlas. Reflectors. Gloves. Socks. Bandages. Neosporin. Inhaler. Benadryl. Motrin. Hard candy. Telescoping magnet (why?). Screwdriver. Channel-locks. Crescent wrench. Ski hat. Bandanna.

73. Caress a woman's neck. Back of your fingers, in a slow fan.

74. Know some birds. If you can't pay attention to a bird, then you can't learn from detail, you aren't likely to appreciate the beauty of evolution, and you don't have a clue how birdlike your own habits may be. You've been looking at them blindly for years now. Get a guide.

75. Negotiate a better price. Be informed. Know the price of competitors. In a big store, look for a manager. Don't be an asshole. Use one phrase as your mantra, like "I need a little help with this one." Repeat it, as an invitation to him. Don't beg. Ever. Offer something: your loyalty, your next purchase, even your friendship, and, with the deal done, your gratitude.



Sertoman Accomplishments Birth/Death
Ed Hull      
Stan Shalla    
David James    
Don Sendgraf    
Dick Manges Past President  
Bill Banks Past President/ Past Governor  
Marvin (Marv) Fries  Charter Member  
Harv Nesbitt    
Jim Nichols Charter Member, Past President, SOY 10/5/29 ~
Gen. Bill Mauer    
Jim Hoeven Charter Member  
Pete Montagriff   9/15/34 - 4/15/ 2005
Jim Waltz   11/2/36 ~ 8/23/2005
Ron Kresl   3/29/32 / ~ 12/18/05
Bob Leinart   4/30/41 ~ 2/16/06
Larry Chaussee   11/4/58 ~ 12/19/06
John McLean   8/23/39 ~ 2/10/08
Chuck Blazek   5/17/39 - 5/22/2007
Denny Farnsworth Past Pres. & SOY 6/23/41 ~ 6/10/09
Russell Butler   1/9/46 ~ 12/11/09
Paul McCoy   5/14/31 ~ 12/11/10
Jerry Bender   2/21/1948 ~ 3/1/2011
Dick Ziporlin   2/8/1931~ 6/4, 2011
Bob Reed Operation Santa Claus 9/5/1932 ~ 10/5/2011
John Drescher Charter Member / Sgt. at Arms/ Ski Trip 8/29/31 ~ 2/12/2012
David Lee Thomas   8/6, 1930 - 1/16, 2013

The Sertoma Board usually meets EVERY SECOND Tuesday  AT NORTH AMERICAN TITLE COMPANY  AT 5:30 p.m.  





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