Dave B. for the pics!
Veterans Day is our next Flag Day!
Not too long
ago, Bob Kopplin, our club Secretary, bragged
on "most of" the members. Seems most of
the members are paying their dues on time,
that all bills are current (!!), and he says
"THANK YOU" for all of your efforts!
Let's remember that much of the credit for our
sound financial fiscicality (this should be
a word!) has to to to the esteemed Dan Kaup for
teaching us how to not spend what we don't have,
and our ex-Treasurer, Chris McDonald.
Good work, everyone!
Flag Czar, Brad Dusek, reminds us that Veterans
Day, November, 11th, is rapidly approaching.
DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOUR FLAGS ARE??? OOPS . .
. that just happened. never mind.
K tells us that we are reaping about $2K per
football game, overall. I saw a report at
the Board Meeting on Tuesday that shows his
original estimate of 2K per game is almost EXACTLY
right. Turns out we're averaging $2,001.37!
Lots of new faces, as well, at the games.
Keep up the good work!
Caffrey had an interesting story (kind of) about
how he and Ann sold their business 5 years ago to
the Mawhinneys (totally a guess on spelling).
Their son, Teran, was with them. He was 11
at the time. Recently Teran made 6
TOUCHDOWNS playing for Poudre High School!
How time flies!
Zach Wilson (R) was recently
presented The Golden Movement Award by club
president, Ken Reiter, which, I'm told, Zach so richly deserved.
Good-Natured Zach, from the
bowels of his
fertile imagination, strikes the traditional
Allerheiligen recently told us of a new business
he was interested in investing in around The Fort
. . . . Helium weather balloon rides!
Benedict, local hero to all, recently announced
his interest (among others) in starting a softball
team. Are YOU interested in playing??
Contact Josh at 219-6819 or
by Larry Abrahamson
Often the District
Attorney's Office is questioned on its
position regarding the release of information
on cases that are being publicly prosecuted.
Our society has given the press broad
privileges in what is referred to as the
public’s “right to know”. This right,
although not a constitutional right, it is a
right that has been accepted through
practice. This right is especially important
when it may affect our safety or security.
The public also has an expectation to be
informed about judicial proceedings,
especially when the proceedings are matters of
general community concern.
When facts and
circumstances surrounding a criminal act are
not given to the media, there are good reasons
why the information cannot be shared. It is
very important . . . . . .
CLICK HERE to
see the remainder!
next football game will be the day after
Thanksgiving, the 27th. Kickoff is at 2 PM,
so we need to be there two hours early; NOON!.
Burns bragged that, since we all paid BIG BUCKS to
send him away, he thought the least he could do
was to model the cool flight jacket he
received. And he did!
scheduled for December 10th at Harmony Grill.
That would be a Thursday night.
Cocktails (from a cash bar) will begin at 6:30
p.m., with dinner beginning at 7:30.
There will be a LIVE BAND (as opposed to a
dead one, I guess), and dancing after
dinner. So far, we have over 60 signed
up. Don Simecka is ramrodding this
shindig, so contact him to sign up.
The cost is $23 apiece. That's $46 for
you and your spouse, or significant other.
there or BE SQUARE!
Treasurer, Bob Kopplin, has requested payment
anytime now for the Party. Why
not STOP right now and put a check in the
mail. Mail it to:
Fort Collins Sertoma Club
P. O. Box 1083
Fort Collins, CO 80522
Address an envelope and stick your check in it
now. Go ahead. I'll
wait. OK . . . . got 'er done????
Now you don't have to worry about it, and
neither does Bob. Thank You!
Ahhhhhhhhhhhh . . . . . . . .
Dearest Redneck Son,
I'm writing this slow because I know you
can't read fast. We don't live where we did
when you left home.
Your dad read in the newspaper that most
accidents happen within 20 miles of your
home, so we moved. I won't be able to send
you the address because the last West
Virginia family that lived here took the
house numbers when they moved so they
wouldn't have to change their address.
This place is really nice. It even has a
washing machine. I'm not sure about it. I
put a load of clothes in and pulled the
chain. We haven't seen them since.
The weather isn't bad here. It only rained
twice last week; the first time for three
days and the second time for four days.
About that coat you wanted me to send; your
Uncle Billy Bob said it would be too heavy
to send in the mail with the buttons on, so
we cut them off and put them in the pockets.
Bubba locked his keys in the car yesterday.
We were really worried because it took him
two hours to get me and your father out.
Your sister had a baby this morning, but I
haven't found out what it is yet so I don't
know if you are an aunt or uncle.
Uncle Bobby Ray fell into a whiskey vat last
week. Some men tried to pull him out but he
fought them off and drowned. We had him
cremated. He burned for three days.
Three of your friends went off a bridge in a
pickup truck. Butch was driving. He rolled
down the window and swam to safety. Your
other two friends were in the back. They
drowned because they couldn't get the
There isn't much more news at this time.
Nothing much out of the normal has happened.
Your Favorite Aunt,
Overheard at (slow)
beer sales at a recent football game: "It's
so f***in' quiet here, you
can hear the zippers in the men's room!" ~
Bush bragged that he and his wife were
participating in the Sheriff's Academy. He
told us how, on his ridealong with a sheriff, he
was texting Allie:
Text 1. Breaking 20 minutes, then riding to
Area 4 in Loveland.
Text 2. 3 auto accidents, 1 rollover, and
one car slid off into the mud
Text 3. Executing search warrant at 9:30
a.m. re: attack on 2 women near Estes Park.
Text 4. 10 officers at the house now . . .
I'm in the locked car with my head down.
Text 5. Parked away from the action; can't
see anything; appears to be non-violent entry.
Text 6. Done here . . . gone for donuts.
Ken Borrett (about
a month ago) bragged how his son, Tad, won an
Odyssey putter in the Grand Prize
Drawing at the District Attorney's Golf Tournament
a while back! (Phil & Ernie used this
finish 1st and 2nd in China).
Brad Burns had a $5 brag for being in a foursome
in the DA's golf tournament with Bill Brown, Jim
Manning, and Bob Kopplin, and WINNING!!! Two
years in a row the Sertoma team won this
tournament . . . . TRADITION!!!
Acott took note of the weather and told us he
would soon be gone to warmer climes. See ya'
in the Spring, Dick!
Glaser was trying to organize a trip to the corn
maze a while back. Don't know if he ever
made it, but it sounded like fun.
Sample bragged about recent publications
concerning Sample and Bailey. He also shared
"a little story" about his recent visit to
Equitable Savings and Loan. (This was on
October 1) Seems he was in said
establishment when a man walked in waving a
pistol, screaming "Get down on the floor!!!"
Well, he did. And came to find that
he was in the was in the middle of a holdup.
The guy was yelling "GET ON THE FLOOR . . . .give
me the f-ing money, give me the f-ing money".
Well, 30 seconds later, the guy was gone, no one
was hurt, and Roger has a story to tell his
grandkids one day!
Our resident Master
Photographer, Norm Rehme, told us how he entered 4
prints in a State competition a while back, and
came home with 3 RIBBONS AND A FIRST PLACE!!!
This is a picture Norm titled "Arkalah",
inspired by the annual
Halloween celebration in Arkansas City,
"Arkalah", which means "good
Carl Glaser reported
that he, Dave Williams, and th' Zippers recently
came in second at the Brainiac Bowl. They
almost took first, but missed one critical
100-point question having to do with the name of
the inventor of the battery. Next Year, Guys!
Congratulations on 2nd!!
(It was Alessandro
Volta, btw, who invented the first "voltaic pile")
It was reported that
next Wednesday, Applebee's is giving away free
meals to veterans. Wait. That was
today. never mind. again. (this
is harder than it looks, guys!)
Ken Borrett told us how he recently attended
his 50th High School reunion. There was an
Elvis impersonator there who was apparently
phenomenal, as Ken bragged on him. He
also had a second brag about a football game in
Columbia, MO. It poured down rain for the
entire game . . . . at the end of 3 quarters
Missouri led 12 - 0 . . . . . Nebraska won it 27 -
Josh Benedict remarked
upon Ken having mentioned three words together
that should never
be in the same sentence . . . . Phenomenal . . . .
. Elvis . . . . . Impersonator.
He also bragged on his
a WWII Army veteran who passed away recently.
Peter was married to Josh's grandmother for 61
years. They had 10 children, 37
grandchildren, and 10 great-children. Josh
is #5 on the GC list. He will be missed by
Conway Gandy bragged that he just had his
73rd Birthday!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Jamison Martin and his girlfriend returned
recently from Japan. When asked to comment,
Jamison told us he "almost came back single".
He tells us that Japan is "very westernized", very
clean, very beautiful. He promised us a
slide show one day.
bragged on his ride-gathering ability, year
Danielson told us how he recently called Camp
Bow-Wow and asked for directions. He said to
the young lady that answered "I know I've seen you
somewhere . . . are you north or south of Recycled
Cycles?" The young lady replied "it depends
upon which direction you're coming from". He
never did get a straight answer from her,
but I'm sure he found the camp.
Terry also bragged on his dad's 95th birthday last
week. Terry's brother turned 70, as well.
What he really wanted to brag on, however, was all
the veterans in the house.
We had a really good
picnic lunch outside the Lincoln Center a
couple of weeks ago.
With the best flag imitation
I've seen in a while, we
all paid allegiance to Ed.
Reese (R), hands off the trophy to Nathan
Allerheiligen (rightly) pointed out that the Fort
Collins Doloradoan has brought to mind a serious
issue regarding one of our members. Seems
that Roger Sample has been practicing PUBIC
ACCOUNTING for over 30 YEARS.
Rob says "Laugh if
you want," but he feels that we should either (1)
Immediately EXPEL Roger and send out a press
release disavowing any knowledge of his having
been counting PUBIC HAIRS for 30 years, or
(2) we can immediately delegate Roger as the
Sertoman of the Century (SOC), change our status
from service club to church, and WORSHIP HIM.
Roger replied that this was exactly right . . . .
they have always held themselves out to be a
"Full-Service" accounting firm.
(Doesn't Roger get involved in the most
Christmas program has begun . . . names were
passed around and taken, but many remain. If
you would be interested in helping to provide a
child in Fort Collins with a Christmas gift that s/he
might not otherwise get, come and get a name.
The gift should be purchased and given for
delivery to Bob by the first part of December.
Norm Rehme bragged that he has another
grandchild, a little boy. #7, I think he
I wasn't in attendance, but I heard of a
couple of interesting brags . . . one from Ronny
Bush, who apparently started life out as a
female. Seriously. He reported that, while in
Boulder a while back, he stopped in the records
building to get a fresh birth certificate. When
he got it, he noticed that his sex had been
marked "Female". Of course, he's all "Change
it, Change it", but, of course, that's not
happening. (Didja' like my Valley Girl??)
Of course, there are only two ways that I can
think of that this might happen. 1. He was
born in Trinidad and something happened
before he left the hospital. OR, 2. The
State screwed up. Now, we all KNOW the state
never screws up, so we might as well face it
guys . . . . not only have we had our first
female member, but she's been President!
His original birth certificate was signed by his
mother 63 years ago as "FE" and that was carried
forward when the records were computerized a few
years ago. It was corrected, but only after an
exam by his doctor Mary Peterson and a letter by
her to the State of Colorado.
The second brag (?) came from
Carl Glaser who got lost in the woods. As I
got the story (again, second hand), Carl was like,
looking for gingerbread crumbs, and wandered down
canyon after interesting canyon.
He did the
right thing though . . . . as soon as he realized
that it was going to be dark in MINUTES, and he
was LOST, he hunkered down to spend a pretty
miserable night, I should imagine, right there.
A search party (I heard 15 guys were out looking
for him) found him the next day, safe and sound.
(Well, as sound as he ever was)
Glad you made it out alive Carl . . . . . I
think there's a law against poisoning wildlife!)
Have you ever wondered where the phrase "You've
gotta' be shittin' me!" came from? Well, Ron
Young (unfortunately) told us. You
shoulda' been there! It involved Private
Peters, a house of ill-repute, and George
Washington's crossing of the Delaware.
I was three over. One over a house, one over a
patio, and one over a swimming pool.
Actually, the only time I ever took out a
one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And I took a
7 to do that.
~ Jim Murray
The only sure rule in golf is - he who has the
fastest cart never has to play the bad lie.
Sex and golf are the two things you can
enjoy even if you're not good at them
I don't fear death, but I sure don't like
those three-footers for par..
Chi Chi Rodriguez
After all these years, it's still
embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour.
Like the time I asked my caddie for
a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes
later with a ham on rye.
Chi Chi Rodriguez
The ball retriever is not long enough to get
my putter out of the tree.
~ Brian Weis
Swing hard in case you hit it.
~ Dan Marino
My favorite shots are the practice swing and
the conceded putt. The rest can never be
~ Lord Robertson
Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a
beautiful partner, and you can keep
the clubs and the fresh air.
~ Jack Benny
There is no similarity between golf and
putting; they are two different games, one
played in the air, and the other on the
Professional golf is the only sport where,
if you win 20% of the time, you're the best
The uglier a man's legs are, the better he
plays golf. It's almost a law.
~ H G Wells
I never pray on a golf course. Actually, the
Lord answers my prayers everywhere except on
~ Billy Graham
If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play
at it, it's recreation. If you work at it,
While playing golf today I hit two good
balls. I stepped on a rake.
If you think it's hard to meet new people,
try picking up the wrong golf ball.
You can make a lot of money in this
game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them
are so rich that neither of their
~ Lee Trevino
I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if
I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced.
CSU Beer Sales Dates
Weber State, 9/12 3 P.M. - Ag day WON!
Nevada, 9/19 3 p.m. Rams Legends Weekend
Utah, 10/10 4 p.m. Homecoming and Family
San Diego State, 10/24 2 p.m. Band
Air Force, 10/31 2 p.m. Hall of
Wyoming, 11/27 NOON maybe we'll
win THIS one?
Hall of Fame*********************
Past President/ Past Governor
Marvin (Marv) Fries
||Charter Member, Past President, SOY
Gen. Bill Mauer
||9/15/34 - 4/15/ 2005
||11/2/36 ~ 8/23/2005
||3/29/32 / ~ 12/18/05
||4/30/41 ~ 2/16/06
||11/4/58 ~ 12/19/06
||8/23/39 ~ 2/10/08
||5/17/39 - 5/22/2007
||Past Pres. & SOY
||6/23/41 ~ 6/10/09
||1/9/46 ~ 12/11/09
||5/14/31 ~ 12/11/10
||2/21/1948 ~ 3/1/2011
||2/8/1931~ 6/4, 2011
||Operation Santa Claus
||9/5/1932 ~ 10/5/2011
||Charter Member / Sgt. at Arms/ Ski Trip
||8/29/31 ~ 2/12/2012
|David Lee Thomas
||8/6, 1930 - 1/16, 2013
The Sertoma Board
AT NORTH AMERICAN
AT 5:30 p.m.