CLICK HERE FOR A "LINKS PAGE", with all Sertoma Links

Sertoma Application (click on it to print)
Sertoma Sponsorship Form (click to print)

If you have trouble viewing this, or just prefer to see it on a large screen,
Click HERE: 
Newsletter 267

NEWS of little import . . . . .

OK GUYS, here's something that should go without saying, but apparently it needs to be said, as it was brought up at a recent Board meeting:

Concerning flags:  
If YOU are on a flag team and it is YOUR turn to put up flags, it is YOUR responsibility to DO IT or see that it is done.
That doesn't seem so hard, does it??  Apparently there are a few of our number who just cannot manage to take that responsibility, and
are making life a lot harder than it needs to be.

Here it is again:  
If YOU cannot get your flags up (for WHATEVER reason!), do NOT call the Flag Captain.  Call another member of your
team and either exchange dates with them or beg a favor.  Don't be one of these fu**ing slackers we have to decide what to do with!


Things You Should Know:

Why Nikola Tesla was the greatest GEEK who ever lived!!
This is a short, funny story about Tesla.  If you do
not know WHO he is, you should read it so you are no longer
Uneducated (and I mean that in the nicest way!)
Here's an excerpt:


Pithy Witticisms from our COB  

"Some guys have six pack abs . . . . I have kegs!"

"Money cannot buy happiness, but it's more fun crying in a Corvette than on a bike"

"Forgive your enemies, but remember the asshole's name"

"If you help somebody when they're in trouble, they'll remember you when they're in trouble again"

"If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem"

"Some people are like slinkys . . . not good for much, but they bring a smile
to your face when pushed down the stairs"

"If you don't succeed, you run the risk of failure" ~ Dan Quayle

"I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman" ~ A. Schwartzenegger

Brad Dusek won the pot on May 31st, but he was not at the meeting.

On July 19th, Carl Glaser won the drawing . . . . BUT, he was in attendance!!

NO MEETING next Friday, 'cause the Installation Banquet is two days later, the 28th!  It is being held at Bush Acres (that's Ronny Bush's house to all you flatlanders!)  This is the scoop, from Dani:

Cocktails at 4p and dinner at 5:30p.  Main fare will include brats, burgers, chicken or salmon.  The remainder will be brought by you, our esteemed attendees.  Participants whose last names begin with A-F, please bring sides and salads.  Last names beginning with G-Q, please bring desserts.  Last names beginning with R-Z, please bring appetizers.  This last group should endeavor to be there as close to 4p as possible so everyone can partake of their goodies! 

Banquet fees are $30/person in advance or $40/person at the door.  Josh Benedict has started circulating a sign-up sheet at the Sertoma lunches and can collect from you then or you may remit and mail your fees to:  Fort Collins Sertoma Club, P.O. 1083, Fort Collins, CO 80522.  AND, here's a visual for you:



July 3, 2013
Thumbs-up to the
Fort Collins Sertoma Club for its continued assistance in helping the North Fort Collins Business Association beautify north Fort Collins and for its help in improving the lives of children. The Sertoma Club is responsible for the American flags that line North College Avenue from the bridge to the north city limits on national holidays. Sertoma is a consistent supporter of the NFCBAs Coats & Boots program, which annually donates 500 to 600 new Columbia coats and a pair of boots to the children of Fort Collins. We thank you, Sertomans!
Fort Collins Doloradoan

This site says "Donate to Sergio", but Tom tells me this "Bubba Ride" is named after him, and any donations made through this site
will go to help fund cancer research.  Just click on the site picture to go to the donation site!



Fort Collins, Colo., might be the
happiest place on Earth!

Look what the Los Angeles times has to say about us recently!

P.S.  Did you know  that Disneyland's Main Street, USA was modeled after Fort Collins' downtown!??!

If you bring anyone OTHER THAN a potential member, remember to COUGH UP $10 for their lunch!  This stuff doesn't grow on trees, you know!

Bylaws of The Sertoma Club of Fort Collins (click on it) - Voted on and approved by a majority of those in attendance today (5/24/2013)

Each year, Dihydrogen Monoxide is a known causative component in many thousands of deaths and is a major contributor to millions upon millions of dollars in damage to property and the environment. Some of the known perils of Dihydrogen Monoxide are:

Death due to accidental inhalation of DHMO, even in small quantities.
Prolonged exposure to solid DHMO causes severe tissue damage.
Excessive ingestion produces a number of unpleasant though not typically life-threatening side-effects.
DHMO is a major component of acid rain.
Gaseous DHMO can cause severe burns.
Contributes to soil erosion.
Leads to corrosion and oxidation of many metals.
Contamination of electrical systems often causes short-circuits.
Exposure decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes.
Found in biopsies of pre-cancerous tumors and lesions.
Given to vicious dogs involved in recent deadly attacks.
Often associated with killer cyclones in the U.S. Midwest and elsewhere, and in hurricanes including deadly storms in Florida, New Orleans and other areas of the southeastern U.S.
Thermal variations in DHMO are a suspected contributor to the El Nino weather effect.

Should DHMO be BANNED???


Well, we have a new guy, John Weidenfeller.  He and his wife, Sandra, have three children; two daughers and a son. 
He is the Regional Director for Modern Woodmen.  When you see him, shake his hand and welcome him to the club!

John Weidenfeller

Greg Anderson had an anniversary, of sorts:  He tells us that he loaned a book to Dave Williams, and Dave just returned it, one year later!

Greg Anderson

Speaking of Greg, did you know he is our new Projects Chairman?  He asked me to pass this message along:

Hello from the new projects chair,
I just want to solicit input on "Club sized projects" that you may know about.   I only know my sphere of needs and you all will know many more.  Of course, our club is only so big, and lots of good projects out there will be over our heads for size/commitment/talent needed - but please shoot me your ideas and input.  
The stuff we did at Crossroads Safe House over the last two years was so great - now I feel it might be time to tie into something new.  Let me know, guys.

Greg W. Anderson,


Larry Glass has "formally turned in his resignation" to his company, and, more importantly, I thought, They have accepted it.  So, at the end of the year, he will be a RETIREE!    Congrats, Larry!!

Tim Miller told us recently that the "lousy joke" for getting a haircut,
"You got your ears lowered" has a more realistic name. 
 I suspect he said this because one of his ears was conspicuously bandaged.  He, however,
 Or, more likely, maybe I just didn't get it.

Ken Reiter had a brag for "Bernecker, Allerheiligen, Benedict, Bryan, Norrgard, Wilson, Thorsrud, Young, Ralston, Glaser, and Green".  Seems they were all involved in the Moving of the Plane from a garage behind Horsetooth Reservoir to a garage behind the Reiters'.




AND, we got PIZZA and BEER afterwards!!

Norm told us that he sent out a new Directory recently.  He said, however, that before he did that,
he successfully DELETED his distribution list.
(whatta' guy!!)  SO, if yo did NOT receive an email from Norm recently, you should contact him: norm@rehme.com


Have I got your attention??
Our esteemed Prez tells us that there will be a

BOARD MEETING on August 13th.  So, the
outgoing and the incoming Boards will be together.
(doesn't that just SOUND like trouble!??!)



Incoming Board of Directors

President - Josh Benedict
Chairman of the Board - Pat Reid

President Elect - Jim Bernecker

Secretary - Jim Norrgard
Treasurer - Nathan Weinland
Sgt. at Arms - Mike Tarantino
Program Chair - Carl Glaser
Membership - Lee Cord
V.P. Communications - Mike Thorsrud
Projects - Greg Anderson
Social - Bradford Burns
Int'l Liaison - Zach Wilson
Members at Large:  Jim Manning, Scott Arledge
Flags - Yet to be named
Public Relations - Paul Reid


 After many, MANY years of service, Jim Manning is retiring as our Flag Guy.  If YOU would be interested in running (or helping to run) this HUGE fund-raiser for us, pls. contact Josh Benedict.

Ron Young bragged a few weeks back about a granddaughter's softball-broken nose from a few weeks back.  The doc told her to "stay off it for a few weeks" and it would be OK.  A second granddaughter, her sister, who had a 4.0 throughout High School, is now in nursing school, where she made the

Josh tells us he is negotiating with Ovations for CSU beer sales this year at Hughes.  He is trying to reduce the
number of beer stands from four to TWO.  More news as it happens.

Speaking of beer stands, New West Fest beer sales is a "go".  We HAVE received our Special Events Permit for the beer sales, so GEAR UP!  NWF is August 16th, 17th, and 18th. 
We have got a pretty sweet setup with Fort Collins Brewery, and will be selling their beer exclusively.  Set the dates aside, 'cause it will be ALL HANDS ON DECK (as Carl put it) 8/16, 17, and 18!


Ken Reiter, Nathan Weinland, and Bradford (Mr. Sertoma) Burns do flags on N. College


Dick Acott celebrated his 55th WEDDING ANNIVERSARY with Constance recently, and had a check for the Foundation for that amount.

Jim Norrgard bragged not too long ago about HIS granddaughter, who lives in Peoria, IL.  Seems SHE made the Dean's List as well, with a 45.gpa!!  WOW!!

Lane Everitt bragged recently that he and Mollie celebrated their 10th anniversary!

Of course, this picture was taken at Sertoma's 2012 Christmas Dinner,
but I'm sure he and Mollie were just as happy when they celebrated their 10th Anniversary recently.

Don Shannon also bragged that he married a "good-lookin' young gal" after just three dates, 49 years ago.  Turns out that the marriage "stuck", and he just celebrated his marriage to that gal with a check to the Foundation for $49!

John Pharris bragged that he lived through his 60th birthday. On that day, he got to play 9 holes of golf with his 88 year old mother and his 24 year old daughter.  Plus, his 87 year-old father was in the vicinity, AND, even though Maddie HATES golf, she did manage to birdie the 6th hole!
PLUS, his son, Josh, recently graduated from Baylor University.  Seems young Josh had a request that he get a Robert Griffin III jersey, personally signed by you-know-who.  Well, John made that happen.  To make another long story short, Maddie tracked down another Heisman Trophy winner, Johnny Rogers, and wrangled a signed football for John.  wow.

Bob Kopplin "celebrated his twin brother's birthday on June 3rd"  Seems he turned 67. 
Happy Birthday, June 7t!!

Ken Borrett celebrated his 72nd birthday not too long ago, saying if those were dog years, he'd be dead!

By the way, at the Board meeting a while back, it was reported that, in the 30 days previous, $750 was deposited to our Foundation!  This birthday money really does add up!
We have $84, 610 in the Foundation, as of May1!

Bill Green bragged that "If all goes well between the time of this brag and Sunday, noon, he
will have been married 40 years!"  I have not heard otherwise, so, Congratulations Bill and Pat!!

A birthday AND an anniversary were reported by Tom Bryan,
Tom also bragged that his tumor count for pancreatic cancer was 1400 when he started treatment.  As of about a month ago, it was down to

Norm paid an IOU from the week before!  Shortly after that announcement, Carl Glaser announced (to a hearty round of applause) that he was going to miss the next meeting because he would be RIDING THE ROCKIES for a week!




If you have trouble viewing this, or just prefer to see it on a larger screen,
click here


Dave Blomberg had a brag about his granddaughter, but I couldn't quite make it out.  SPEAK UP, EVERYONE!!  I GOT OLD MAN'S EARS!
Frank Johnson handed out FREE "Stop the Stadium" stickers ~ just ask if you'd like one!!


UPCOMING PROGRAMS - from Lee Cord, V.P. Programs
215-9658 or LCord@thegroupinc.com


June 28  NO MEETING!

July 28 ~ Installation date

Thursday, September 12th - Golf tournament at Highland Meadows - same format as the District Attorney Tournament (D.A.T.) that we've played for years ~ Not a scramble - a handicap tournament.


Obama's approval ratings are so low now Kenyans are accusing him of being born in the United States .

This is REAL, although misnamed and not as dangeous as it sounds.  Click here:  ASIAN GIANT HORNET for more info


Ken Borrett had a $5 brag a while back, thanking Woody for his service in "Operation Overlord".

Pat Reid had a $5 BRAG on our club ~ Seems Pat was in AZ a while back, and visited his old Rotary Club (boo, hiss).  After the meeting, he pulled the Prez aside to talk ~ he found out that their Rotary Club of 65 (mostly younger) persons, donated just $12,000 last year, where, by comparison, we donated around $39,000!

Pat told us also that Brian Soukup just doesn't have enough time to make the club anymore, so he has had to quit. 
Brian has done so much good with Sertoma for so long, it will be strange to have him gone.  Maybe he could just
keep his dues up, and we could put his picture at a table every week?  Come back to visit anytime, Brian!  (But bring ten bucks for lunch!)


Nathan told us recently that "everyone is paying on time", and he really appreciates the prompt payments! 




SOW (Sertoman of the Week)

Our SOW was born in San Mateo, CA, but most of his life was spent growing up in Denver.

Our SOW is one of TWO Sertomans who attended George Washington High School in Denver

Our SOW has had five back surgeries, has two artificial shoulders and knee, and went through the trauma of a surgeon CUTTING his laryngeal nerve, resulting in difficulty speaking.

Our Sow's first "hobby of choice" is FISHING

After his last back/neck surgery, he could not walk for 6 months.  After some intensive physical therapy, he now not only gets around pretty well, but makes it to Sertoma almost every Friday!

After all these clues, all anyone knew for sure was that it
wasn't Bernecker!  When the "striped shirt" clue was given,
however, it was all over. Attaboy, Scott!

Scott Arledge passes the SOW torch to Mike Gilmore


President - Pat Reid
President-Elect - Josh Benedict
Chairman of the Board - Rob Allerheiligen
Secretary ~ Jim Norrgard
Flag Czar - Jim Manning
Treasurer - Nathan Weinland
Sgt. at Arms - "Bobbo" Kopplin
V. P. Programs - Lee Cord
V. P. Projects - Gary Ross
V.P. communications ~ Mike Thorsrud
V P Membership - Jim Bernecker
Public Relations - Jim Nutt
Social - Ronny Bush

Sertoma Intn'l. Liaison - Dave Blomberg


Past Board Members

Sertoma International

Sertoma Code of Ethics

Our Club Website


Awards (SOY, Golden Movement, Foot in Mouth,
Asleep at the Wheel)


Sertoma Historical Info

INFO ~ 2012 - 2013


 Unlike a heart, Chuck Norris never stops beating.

Chuck Norris doesn't breathe; he holds air hostage.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

Chuck Norris was once bitten by a rattle snake...after several days of agonizing
pain the snake died.

Smart cops sleep with Chuck Norris under their pillow.

When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.

Chuck Norris doesn't cut his grass; he dares it to grow.

They're making a sequel to 300 starring Chuck Norris. Its called 1

Chuck Norris could win the Tour-de-France on a big-wheel

Matches will not play with Chuck Norris

Sertoman Accomplishments Birth/Death
Ed Hull      
Stan Shalla    
David James    
Don Sendgraf    
Dick Manges Past President  
Bill Banks Past President/ Past Governor  
Marvin (Marv) Fries  Charter Member  
Harv Nesbitt    
Jim Nichols Charter Member, Past President, SOY 10/5/29 ~
Gen. Bill Mauer    
Jim Hoeven Charter Member  
Pete Montagriff   9/15/34 - 4/15/ 2005
Jim Waltz   11/2/36 ~ 8/23/2005
Ron Kresl   3/29/32 / ~ 12/18/05
Bob Leinart   4/30/41 ~ 2/16/06
Larry Chaussee   11/4/58 ~ 12/19/06
John McLean   8/23/39 ~ 2/10/08
Chuck Blazek   5/17/39 - 5/22/2007
Denny Farnsworth Past Pres. & SOY 6/23/41 ~ 6/10/09
Russell Butler   1/9/46 ~ 12/11/09
Paul McCoy   5/14/31 ~ 12/11/10
Jerry Bender   2/21/1948 ~ 3/1/2011
Dick Ziporlin   2/8/1931~ 6/4, 2011
Bob Reed Operation Santa Claus 9/5/1932 ~ 10/5/2011
John Drescher Charter Member / Sgt. at Arms/ Ski Trip 8/29/31 ~ 2/12/2012
David Lee Thomas   8/6, 1930 - 1/16, 2013




Hit Counter